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I am a fan of hocum-pocum.
I've seen so many ghost hunting shows that I'm pretty sure I'm qualified to teach people how to do it. I've listened with a straight face as people have talked to me about pyramid power and which crystals best accentuate my aura. I stare at the night sky yearning to see a UFO. There are times I've pulled up my security camera feed in hopes of seeing Bigfoot or chupacabras sneaking around my yard.
Life's no fun without believing in weird nonsense now and again. But even I've got my limits -- or so I thought.
The internet houses enough left-of-center paranormal conspiracies, plots, and rabbit holes that you could waste multiple lifetimes attempting to devour them all. But one such bit of hokum I've never put much stock in is the so-called "Mandela Effect." This is a social phenomenon wherein a person, or often multiple people, misremember a common detail or event.
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It was coined by paranormal researcher Fiona Bloome in 2009 after discovering that she and others held false memories of South African political activist Nelson Mandela having died in prison back in the 1980s. Mandela did NOT die in prison -- in fact, he was released from prison in 1990, went on to become president of South Africa from 1994-1999, and eventually passed in 2013. But Bloome swears she remembers his death back in the 1980s -- and she found others who shared this same false memory of Mandela having died in prison.
That's only one example of the Mandela Effect. Some other popular ones include:
* People who remember a children's movie from the 1980s called "Shazaam" where comedian Sinbad played a wish-granted genie. Despite people even remembering the VHS cover image, no such movie exists.
* People who fondly recall the children's book series of the Berenstein Bears. (It's Berenstain. Always has been.)
* Spoiler alerts, but nowhere in the movie Casablanca does Bogie ever say "Play it again, Sam." (It's Ingrid Bergman who says, "Play it, Sam.") Also, in Empire Strikes Back, Vader never says, "Luke, I am your father." (The actual quote is, "No, I am your father.")
* Picture the iconic Monopoly Man in your head right now. Is he wearing a monocle? He never has.
There's loads of expert explanations on how and why we store and share false memories, full of boring psychological terms like "confabulation" and "priming."
The internet has a much spicier explanation. Many people believe that Mandela Effect examples are proof positive of the existence of parallel universes and alternate realities. If you have vivid memories of an event that conflicts with the historical record, conspiracist buffs claim it's because events from different realities are intertwining with one another, owing to rifts in the space-time continuum or real-life glitches in the matrix of the universe.
Like Fox Mulder, I want to believe. But I've never bought into the multiverse theory of the Mandela Effect, simply because it's never happened to me. I never thought Nelson Mandela died in prison. I don't remember a Sinbad genie movie. I always spelled it "Berenstain." As for Star Wars and Casablanca, those lines were probably spoofed somewhere on TV once upon a time and more people remember the spoof instead of the actual movie quote.
I'm down to clown with any number of paranormal theories out there, but I've always thought the Mandela Effect was a load of hooey. Well, I used to.
Last week, famed MLB pitcher Fernando Valenzuela died on Oct. 22 from a private battle with liver cancer at the far too young age of 63. It was a sad passing for baseball fans, and the Dodgers are more than likely (I'm writing this on Tuesday) going to win the World Series wearing commemorative patches for Valenzuela on their uniforms.
There's just one problem. Fernando Valenzuela died, like, 20 years ago. At least, that's the memory in MY brain.
Look, I'm not a baseball fan at all -- but there was a short phase in my childhood when I thought I was. That phase also happened to coincide with Fernandomania. With his chonky gait, weird pitching motions, skyward stares, and an insane 0.50 ERA at the start of the 1981 season, Valenzuela was EVERY kid's hero. That's why it hit me hard when he died from a heart attack 20 years ago.
Except, umm, he didn't. In fact, he pitched all the way up to the 1999 season, and even a couple years after that in a Mexican league. He coached Team Mexico's pitchers for years. U.S. President Barack Obama appointed him a special ambassador for citizenship and naturalization. For the past 20 years, he's been the color commentator for the Spanish-language broadcasts of Dodgers games.
But if you'd have asked ME, I'd have sworn the man died of a sudden heart attack decades ago. I play in a lot of charity trivia night events, and when our team disagrees on an answer, we often turn it into a friendly wager. I'm glad THAT question never came up, because I would've easily wagered the bulk of my wallet that poor Fernando had been sleeping with the fishes for some time now. Not only do I remember his death, I remember being SAD about his death.
So what's this mean? Who knows. Probably that I'm getting older and my brain's not immune from occasionally misfiring. In this case, though, I'd like to believe in the idea of multiverses and alternate realities. Maybe there's a parallel universe out there someplace where poor Fernando died 20 years ago. I wonder what I'M doing in that universe right now. Maybe OtherShane has made something of his life. Maybe OtherShane isn't sprawled out on his couch trying to write a newspaper column while wiping crumbs off his laptop from an oatmeal-raisin cookie dangling out of his mouth.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still sad Fernando Valenzuela passed away last week. But I'm also kind of oddly happy that he enjoyed twenty more years of life than I ever gave him credit for. If there IS a parallel universe out there, I wonder if I'll ever get to visit (again?). Depending on how THEIR election goes next week, I just might want to move there.
Shane Brown writes for the Dispatch-Argus and Quad-City Times. Contact him at sbrown@qconline.com.
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