If the 1965 holiday special A Charlie Brown Christmas was compulsory viewing in your home around Christmas, you know the drill -- that idiot Charlie Brown DID IT AGAIN and used his child money to buy a garbage tree that sucks. And for the Christmas play! What a blockhead! (Cue maniacal Snoopy laughter.)
Now imagine Shadyside is Charlie Brown, and some residents are Lucy Van Pelt. And maybe former mayor Bill Peduto is Snoopy, and Cappy's is his doghouse. 5801 is definitely Peppermint Patty and Marcie. I digress.
Anyway, the denizens of one of Pittsburgh's most affluent neighborhoods were forced to take sides on a Very Important Issue -- whether the Walnut Street holiday tree was worthy of gracing the alleyway across from the abandoned Apple store.
A recent post in the Facebook group Friends from Shadyside expressed disappointment over the tree, generating a mild firestorm of comments, most of which called the poster out for being elitist and overly nitpicky. The main issue revolved around the tree between two trash cans (gasp!) and, incidentally, behind a Feed The Children-branded box. Because, as we all know, nothing ruins Christmas like reminding people to be charitable and think of the hungry kids, especially now, as federal food assistance programs have been all but gutted and stalled by the Trump administration.
Another post in what I'm dubbing #Treegate offers suggestions on how to improve the setup. Much like baby Jesus in the manger, the tree would be surrounded by straw to make it look more "natural." Could we also "erect a temporary fence behind the tree so pedestrians can only view the tree from the sidewalk?" Heck, why not put the tree in a high-security plexiglass box surrounded by lasers like it's the Hope fucking Diamond? This is serious, people! We need to keep the tree safe from those Patagonia store degenerates next door!
A day has passed since these posts went up on Mon., Nov. 24, and one change has been made to the Walnut Street tree display: the Feed The Children box was removed. Mission accomplished!
The comments on the posts have since been turned off, so good luck trying to express an opinion there. However, as one commenter points out, residents can create a Registered Community Organization Program through the City of Pittsburgh, which, ideally, would give Shadysiders more say over developments in their neighborhood. Or take action now by donating to or volunteering with a nonprofit like the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank.
While I could write a thousand more words about this ordeal, I think the general consensus is best summed up by the aforementioned Charlie Brown: Good grief.